Liam has a condition known as torticollis which is a twisted neck in which the head is tipped to one side, while the chin is turned to the other. This causes another condition known as plagiocephaly. Plagiocephaly is a term used to describe a baby's mis-shapen and/or asymmetrical head shape, which may also include the ears and face. It does not affect the development of the baby's brain but if it is not treated it may affect a baby's physical appearance by causing uneven growth of their face and head. His head isn't quite as bad as this picture, but it isn't good. Both conditions are treatable, but Liam's case is pretty severe and will require a lot of work in the coming months and year to make sure that the development of his motor skills are not affected.
Liam and I go to therapy every Monday for an hour. The therapy consists of an occupational therapist stretching, massaging and working with Liam to strengthen the muscles of his neck, shoulders and arms. Children with torticollis often favor one side of their bodies over the other which can lead to problems rolling over, crawling and walking. We also have to do a lot of stretching and things with him during the week.
He does so well for being tugged and pulled on for an hour. It makes me love and appreciate his amazingly content and bubbly personality even more. But it is exhausting physically for him. He sleeps like a rock most of the day and night.
For me it is a different kind of exhausting. This has been such a trying time for me emotionally and spiritually. It is rough watching your 4 month old be jerked around. It is hard wanting to make it all better, wondering if I am doing everything I should be doing, and knowing that really I can't do much. This isn't the first time in my life that I have had to wait on God, but it sure does feel like the longest. There have been other times in my life where I thought that I understood what it means to trust God, but I am learning that the trust I have that God will take care of me doesn't translate completely to my boys. If I, as an adult, struggle and have to rely on God to meet my needs I am ok with that. But, for some reason it is much harder for me to have that same trust that God will take care of (in this case) Liam. I get really frustrated with my lack of faith.
But, thankfully my lack of faith is nothing new to God. His word reminds me of some very important things in this circumstance -
Those who fear the Lord are secure;he will be a refuge for their children. - Proverbs 14:26
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. - 2 Cor. 12:9
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. - Psalm 27:14
I don't really have a concluding thought on all of this right now since it is still an ongoing work in my life. However, I do FULLY trust that
1. God loves Liam so much more than I ever could.
2. God will heal Liam in His time.
3. If Liam isn't physically perfect by the world's standards or my own, that I won't love him any less.
I just need my brain to work on its communication with my heart so that I begin to live like I believe these things.
The father cried out immediately, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
- Mark 9:24
1 comment:
wow, that was an awesome post. thanks for being vulnerable and for letting us know how we can pray for Liam (and you.) love you!
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